Under the Rule of the Czar: Week 6

This week, we had the biggest scandal since the coronation of Mr. Trump.  No, I am not talking about Jeff Sessions who forgot to mention that he was in the same room as the Russian ambassador.  No, it wasn’t Vice President Pence being outed as someone who still uses AOL.  Although in his defense, he is still trying to use up all of those free hours from the CDs he got in the 90s.  It was the mix up at the Oscars and the wrong movie was announced as the movie of the year.  This scandal was so bad that people were expecting Kanye West to take the stage.

Speaking about people forgetting to tell the whole truth when testifying to Congress, what is up with all of these cabinet nominees?  Jeff Sessions didn’t mention that he and the Russian ambassador had a meeting in Sessions’ office.  Scott Pruitt fibbed about his use of a private email server as the attorney general of his state.  Betsy DeVos stretched the truth when she said she was not involved in her family’s foundation.  Seems that she was a member of the board for 17 years but that was just a “clerical error.” Steve Mnuchin said he did not use robots to sign foreclosures; he used overworked and underpaid employees like the rest of the industry.  Not to mention that Philip Bilden withdrew his nomination because he could not satisfy ethics concerns.  It is almost like the nominees are intentionally lying to distract from the fact that most of them are unqualified to lead the agencies that they are going to head.

*cough* Ben Carson *cough*

This week had some cases of not-quite-domestic terrorism.  A guy shot and killed a couple of Indians while shouting “get out of my country.”  Since the guy was white, he was only a confused individual that committed a hate crime.  A number of Jewish cemeteries were vandalized and bomb threats were made against Jewish community centers.  As explained by David Duke… whoops… Mr. Trump, it is a false flag operation the the Jews did it to themselves.

The amazing thing in all of this is how the Jewish and Muslim communities have come together to help each other in these tough times.  I think we have a solution for the conflicts in the Israel.  When they capture these perpetrators, instead of putting them in jail, we should ship them to Israel.  With the havoc that they would do, it would finally bring peace to the region.

Daryl Issa, a hold over from the Salem witch trials, said that the investigation of the connections between the Republican administration and Russia might need a special prosecutor.  He quickly changed his mind when Trump and friends disagreed.  Attempts to get Mr. Trump’s tax returns and to get the Department of Justice to release the information it had about Russian connections were nixed. You can’t really blame them.  Given the fates of several people associated with the unsubstantiated dossier, one cannot be too careful.

Mr. Trump has completed his transformation to a career politician.  He has mastered the skill of passing the buck.  Jewish community centers receiving bomb threats?  Maybe, they did it.  Soldier dying in the Yemen raid?  That was the general’s fault.  Protests against the Republican administration and the leaks?  It was the doing of that dastardly Obama!

Thursday, Mr. Trump addressed a joint session of Congress.  Shortly before the big speech, he unleashed part of his master plan. He signed a couple of bills that are intended to encourage women to enter STEM and business careers.  The clear purpose is to blow the minds of his opposition so that he can unleash…

When Mr. Trump entered the Congressional chamber, he was well dressed (even gay men had to look twice).  He dutifully read from the teleprompter.  He very respectful.  He was… Presidential.

Now we can see if he can keep that up through next week.  Spoiler alert: He doesn’t.

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