Under the Rules of the Czar: Week 8

Today’s episode is brought to you the letters: C, U, T, and S.  It is that time again when the President presents his wish list of spending priorities and eventually Congress hems and haws and kicks the can down the road with a continuing resolution.  In the process where Obama was said to use a scalpel, Czar Trump is using a machete while wearing a hockey mask.  It is a bloodbath.

Almost every agency under Czar Trump saw a cut to its funding.  Many programs were amputated and thrown in the trash.  Bert and Ernie will need to put off their nuptials for a little while longer and Count VonCount needs to renew his CPA certification.  Meals on Wheels becomes Starve at Home Alone. Things are tough and everybody has to tighten their belts.

Unless of course, you’re the Department of Defense where you’re already rolling in the Benjamins.  Cuts to spending are only for those other departments; nope no waste and corruption here.  What did you think?  We cannot have American exceptionalism unless we increase our overly bloated defense budget.

Speaking about cuts, several attorneys were told to clear out and to not let the door hit them on the ass as they leave.  One of whom was Prett Bharara who was asked to stay earlier.  It seems that investigating members of the Republican administration and Fox News is what is known as a career limiting move.

The Congressional Budget Office released their “fake news” about Trumpcare.  Over 24 million will be losing their health insurance but that is okay because the healthy won’t have to subsidize the sick and men won’t have to pay for prenatal care.  The keyword is freedom.  You might lose your insurance.  You might not be able to afford your prescriptions.  You will be paying more for health care but GOD BLESS AMERICA, you won’t have to pay for some woman’s birth control.

Michael Flynn, the current record holder of the shortest tenure for National Security Adviser, was moonlighting during the campaign.  Not only did he made some extra cash on the side from clients with ties to Russia, he was sitting in classified briefings as an agent for Turkey.  It seems that even the best and brightest should be vetted.

Still no evidence of Trump Tower wiretapping.  People were looking high and low.  Nobody in the Senate could find anything.  Russia and WikiLeaks didn’t have anything. We even asked the British.  After asking us if we were pissed, they said they didn’t have anything.  Spicey Sean finally figured it out; Trump was using air quotes when he said wiretapping.

AirQuotes

A Kenyan judge put the wonderful Muslim Ban version 2 on hold.  It was an example of judicial overreach especially coming from a foreign country.  Of course, the alt-right did not like this and called for a boycott of Hawaii which is interesting because they don’t travel to exotic lands outside the United States.

It seems that the Senate has a new insult to use against fellow members.  When a member of the Senate does something that you don’t like, just say he is “working for Putin.”  For example, Rand Paul does not believe in foreign intervention; he is working for Putin.

That is it for this week.

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