I hope you mothers had a great day

To all of the mothers out there, I hope you had a great day. It is a dirty and complicated job but somebody has to do it. If it was not you ladies many infants and toddlers would be forced to go around with green slugs and snot bubbles coming out of their noses. Without mothers, we would not have the fabled momma spit that is capable of cleaning any surface. You have my respect.

My family did not really do much today as we did most of our thing yesterday (to avoid the crowds). We met up with my mother, sister, and aunt yesterday. For my sister, this was her first mother’s day as a mother. She is currently fostering a tiny infant which in my opinion does count.

We decided to meet at a restaurant for lunch. When we arrived, I learned just how fast a little kid can spend $2 on one of those video game devices at the table. In this case, the answer was before I could sit down. In the future, I will need to keep closer tabs on that one. I had already decided that I was going to allow it but he really should have asked first. Part of me is just amazed at the speed in which it happened.

During lunch, everyone took their turns cooing over the toddler. She did not seem to mind too much as she is becoming a little ham. Unfortunately, there was not much opportunity to coo of over the infant; the little guy slept through the whole thing. Everybody remarked over the nice big bruise on Little J’s head (earlier in the week he fought the wall and the wall won at preschool). The boys were as much of angels as they are capable of being. Although, I think the game device helped in that regard.

The kids had arrangements yesterday evening which meant that it was my wife, the toddler, and myself. We went out for dinner and some shopping and the day ended quite peacefully. Some would say it was boring but these days, boring is great.

In the morning, the kids took their turns presenting gifts and cards to my wife. There were the obligatory homemade cards along with the professionally designed cards from the local big box retailer. This year was remarkable in the sense that it was the first year that Mother’s day shopping was completed the week before.

I had originally planned to give my wife a gag gift this year. It started back in February when I was out shopping. I stumbled across this microwave cleaning tool called Angry Momma. Basically, you fill this plastic bottle in the shape of an angry woman with water and vinegar, nuke it for a while, and it send streams of steam all around the microwave in hopes that it gets cleaned.

Alas, this plan failed so badly it was rather comedic. First, somewhere between the time I bought it and her birthday, the teenager revealed the existence that there was a gag gift (not what it was). I should have known better, this kid could never keep a secret even if her life depended on it. Second, several weeks ago, my wife got angry at me and decided to clean my car. Yeah, I do not understand it myself but I have learned to not question these things. Needless to say, you have probably figured out where I had it hidden. At this point, the joke has been completely ruined.  Alas, karma was not done with me.

As background, we have a relationship with the biological mother of the boys and the toddler. We agreed to have an open arrangement with her as long as we felt that it was in the best interest of the boys (along with other stipulations set forth in a missive of legalese). Well, after one of the visitations between her and the toddler, she sent a gift to my wife home with her. When I got home that evening, my wife showed me the gift; an Angry Momma.

I think there is a moral to the story folks, never plan on giving your wife a gag gift for Mother’s day. For the record, the real gift was a pendant to which you can add essential oils.


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