So, it is confession time. There have been some things that I am very hesitant to share with others even though it is very obvious there is something. You can say that there is an elephant in the room that I am avoiding. Unfortunately, this time, I am that elephant.
Harsh… I know but I am the one who created the problem. If my body’s a temple, I have certainly trashed the place and committed so many blasphemies that I am surprised that the god to which this temple is dedicated has not struck me down with a bolt of lightning. If you were to look in this temple, you would find countless candy wrappers, empty bottles of Mountain Dew, and wrappers from fast food restaurants. Not only that, the temple is suffering from signs of years of neglect.
Over the last couple decades, I have been trying to reverse the destruction that I have wrought on myself with a steady stream of failures. I was 250, lost 30, gained 60. Then I was 280, lost 20, gained 50. Found myself at 380, lost 30, gained 60. Hit 450, lost 130 (and was running 5k on a regular basis), and gained it all back. This needed to stop, I was not able to wipe my butt, I was no longer fitting in seat belts, and I was starting to lose my ability to walk (along with other problems).
That is where I was in September when I just gave up. I did not give up in the sense of no longer trying. Rather, I mean giving up in the sense that I am no longer trying to go through this without help. I started to see a weight loss doctor which includes visits with dietitians. I was instructed to start taking a multivitamin along with vitamin D because I was extremely deficient. I was introduced to a plan that is a modified version of a diabetic diet (I assume because the handbook is published by the American Diabetes Association).
At first, I felt that this plan was overly complicated because I had to track six numbers instead of one. The saving grace of this plan is once you understand it, it actually become easier to use. I found that I am far more accurate in figuring out what choices I used versus how many calories are in something.
Since I started this program in September, I went from around 453 to 394 (two weeks ago) and have gone from what the doctor was calling prediabetes to being normal. I still have a long way to go on this part my journey but I am slowly heading in the right direction. I am hoping to finally tear down the wall at 300 that has been insurmountable in past attempts.
I fear that I am starting to slip again and the demons of my mind are trying to pull me down again. This week’s goal is to get back on the path that has been mapped out for me.